


I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to (you had me at hello).

by anxiouspunk



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: F/F, Family Feels, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, High Key Softness, Light Angst, Non-Explicit Sex, Pre-Relationship, Team as Family, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Helena, actually just saw the word count and it's not that bad!, alcohol tw, also I forgot there’s only a little bit of violence, and, basically buckled up you gays bc it’s a touch starved fic!!, bc honestly no one wants to see me write smut, bi!Dinah, blood tw, dinah is a flirtatious sweetheart, featuring also - Freeform, good for me!, helena doesn’t know how to Person, it’s essentially a fic of them getting closer until boom! they’re in love and together, lesbian!Helena, like a regular amount but I’ll add triggers anyway, like one maybe two scenes, or be around people really, really just the bare minimum if that’s not your jam, smoking tw, so it’s just a bare grazing in only one scene, still don’t know how to tag, the title is so CHEESY but whatever, title’s ‘you had me at hello’ by my favourite and bestest band a day to remember, violence tw, whoops I overwrote again sorry it’s so long, with, with gradual touches shared as they get closer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:34:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23057809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiouspunk/pseuds/anxiouspunk
Summary: it wasn’t just that nobody had touched her before. it was that dinah was so incredible. it was that it was so gentle and dinah was so sweet and helena had never known this kind of connection before. only not that long ago she was flinching when renee innocently batted her in the arm and unsure of how to respond when cass threw her arms around her. it was simple really – she didn’t know how to be touched. a hard shell that only knew how to build walls when someone reached for her.and dinah fucking cracked her open by the pads of her fingers alone.
Relationships: Helena Bertinelli/Dinah Lance
Comments: 48
Kudos: 379





	I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to (you had me at hello).

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!
> 
> I said I wanted to do more Dinah/Helena, and I have delivered on that promise - though as you can already see, there's a reason why it took me so long LOL 
> 
> There isn't much to say here - I thought it'd be interesting to delve into Helena as a character via touch, because as we all know she probably received none whilst being trained to be a killing machine, and especially having it come from (love of my life) Dinah. And then how that'd develop their relationship. I worked on it for a very long time and it became a bit of a monster, so I hope it's still any good for you guys. 
> 
> Enjoy!

the last secure touch helena knew came from her mother’s fingers. 

the plastic chipped material of the purple car slid over her palm, and the soft fingertips grazing over. she’d always had soft hands. a routine of daily lotion along with the  regimen of perfume and  real peal earrings and flawless grace had done that. helena could still remember the scent of it. it was  a flowery  rosemary. 

it was the last grounding touch she knew. in that moment of terror her mother was  bound from gripping her ten-year-old body in a hug or cupping her cheek carefully like she always would  so she slipped one last reminder into helena’s hand and her fingertips trailed  over – saying, that she loved her, that she was here. 

until she wasn’t anymore. 

now, her uncles, as she had grown to call them, did care about her. helena knew that completely. when the one who’d pulled her from the mess of red stained limbs and weight of her fallen family atop her, clasped her shoulder with a smile because she’d hit every  bulls-eye with her bow and didn’t even blink and told her he was proud of her, she knew it was genuine. but these were men grown on violence, within mob  mentality. they didn’t know what it was like to kiss a young child on the head goodnight, or wrap their arms around when she woke up screaming from the memory of her mother’s head hitting the floor with her eyes still open. 

they cared, but they were not dotting men. and it was fine. helena learned how to do without; how to sit in solidarity and calm yourself with future memories of what’d be like to twist the necks of those who hurt her family. 

and grip her little toy car. 

currently, it’d been three days since birds of prey happened. and right now, helena was standing in the washroom of the newly bought three-bedroom apartment they’d decided to share; there was still boxes everywhere and a fridge filled with only eggs and two packs of beer montoya bought and she was trying to move around the  draped but not yet strung bathtub curtain standing against the wall. they’d just come back from a mission and she was attempting to fix a wound just a little out of reach. 

one of the assholes had cut her in the back, right over her shoulderblade; thankfully with no more then just the tip of the switchblade, but enough to tear open the skin. she could _almost_ reach it with the adhesive cloth bandage but it was far enough away from where she’s twisted her arm and her aggravated muffled yells and swears must’ve been louder then she thought because the next thing she knew –

“havin’ fun in there crossbow?” 

the door had been pushed open a bit. dinah was standing in the doorway, still wearing her signature dark make-up and gold accessories but had stripped down to a sweater and sweatpants, arching a brow at helena. she must’ve been winding down for the night but was beckoned out by the manwoman yelling at herself in the bathroom. 

“it’s nothing..” she muttered, straightening up from where she was awkwardly crouched over and stretched out her arm curled up behind her like a spring.

“right – I’m sure you’re just swearing up a storm in here for fun..” dinah quipped, wandering in “although, actually, from what I know of you so far, that could be totally true..” 

helena huffed. her back to dinah, she just tried to ignore the girl who seemed took no more joy then  purposefully  getting on helena’s easily ignitable nerves or  her  lips painted in that dark lipstick or how for some reason this low bathroom lighting made her look  good –

“want some help?..” 

“no.”  the assassin quickly shut that down. she never did and she wasn’t about to start needing it now, hand reaching around again, feeling for where the stinging in her skin was strongest. 

“oh really? so you’re enjoying hitting yourself in the back because you can’t see?” 

“I’m  _ saying  _ I can handle it!” she snapped. the perfect weapon to always get someone to storm out. it normally always worked and in the two passing seconds of quiet helena thought it had but then suddenly the cloth was swiped from her hands. 

“what the f –”

“relax crossbow.” came the serious yet internally gentle voice “just straighten up for me; this is the whole gist of being  on a team, remember?” 

helena, back straightened, would’ve verbally hit back and made a good  tussle for the bandage – but then there were  fingertips on her back and she altogether stopped. 

they were pressing over her skin. they were careful, but sure. very sure. just like all of dinah’s movements. helena was dead quiet and tensed as she felt the cloth being placed in just the right spot, and then a single finger drawing slowly across, horizontal, to secure the top edge of the bandage to her skin. helena swore  she felt it sear into her skin. she was breathing a little fast. 

then, just as she thought it was over, she felt dinah’s hand press the body of the cloth down onto the scar. she hissed between her teeth over the stinging and there was a gently mumbled ‘it’s alright..’ which in every regard helena would find patronizing but couldn’t now for some reason. after it was in place, dinah’s hand slowly drew downwards to make sure it was sticking to the skin and helena swore with every completely innocent graze she felt the breath in her chest stutter and the only thought she could concretely place was that,

her fingertips were soft. soft and sure.

“there..” dinah said after like it was  absolutely nothing, stepping back “now do you want a lollypop for your rewards, or..?” 

helena looked over her shoulder, meeting warm brown eyes glinting in a tease. and suddenly she felt less heavy. 

“fuck off..” 

dinah broke into a grin, that oddly endearing dimple denting her cheek. and then, just the  slightest of grins danced over helena’s lips. 

helena didn’t really know dinah yet. this was kind of the first close contact they’d had. well, this, and the night fighting sionis – but helena doesn’t think it counts because dinah had been unconscious for it. she’d sat starstruck after watching the canary cry – she’d seen plenty in her twenty-seven years on this planet but never _anything_ like that – but then after, as dinah lay out cold on the ground, with renee still held down by the bullet and harley off chasing after sionis, there was no one else but her. she remembers rushing out and kneeling by dinah, one arm carefully wrapping under her waist and the other under those tight pants, lifting her into her arms. she remembers thinking how warm dinah’s skin was as her callused cold fingers gripped on, how dinah’s head quietly fell into the crook of her shoulder as she carried her back. how someone with unspeakable power could look so harmless and, well, beautiful, curled up there against her chest.

but then renee was yelling at her to follow harley because she was going to need back-up, and then there was no more time to think about it.

helena thought then, she should really say thank you. maybe she wasn’t used to this whole team thing because every other time in her past it was just her fixing it up when red leaks out. it hadn’t really occurred to her to even call someone and if dinah hadn’t showed up, she probably wouldn’t have. 

but unfortunately or not, dinah took that moment of  teasing friendship and was on her way; chin jutting out to helena in a nod speaking  _ ‘night,  _ and then, casual and cool as she always is, walked right out. 

and helena stood there, empty room and not knowing what to do with how loudly her heart was making itself known. 

-

helena doesn’t know what a ‘girls night’ was  suppose to entail.

she hadn’t had any girlfriends before (she also hadn’t had any _girl_ friends either, but that was a different issue). she had only a bare reconciliation that she’d plucked from t.v and movies; it included junk food, pj’s, maybe some secret sharing, and potentially alcohol too, regardless of if you’re of age or not. seemed kinda cheesy and honestly, she was afraid she’d do it wrong. it looked like relaxing was a prominent part of the experience and that’d never been one of her key traits.

but that was about the scene that was currently taking over the birds of prey’s living room. four months into the creation of the team, harley had gotten her wishes fulfilled with the now empty pizza boxes were everywhere, including the several bottles of alcohol and pink liquid splattered all over the counter that made for, if they were to be honest, very bad cosmos. but they drank them. and they were having fun. helena was having _fun._

right now, situated on the couches, there was chatter and teasing smack talk  passing over  _ mrs. doubtfire  _ that was playing. while the adults might’ve  preferred a film rated for them, cass was still up – sitting up on her sleeping bag on the floor in her bear onesie and with what looked like popcorn kernals in her hair as she ate marshmallow fluff from a jar – and the team decided they couldn’t  _ completely  _ ruin the kid’s psyche (even if harley would've just shown her an r-rated movie anyway). plus, once it’d gotten out that helena hadn’t seen really...any film known to man ( _ “honestly what does ‘remote Italy’ even mean to you people?!” _ ), everyone was determined to show her. 

she’d rolled her eyes first because what age does she  honestly look like, to be watching this, but maybe even she wasn’t immune to the comedy  stylings of robin williams, sniggering laughter hidden to herself as the rest of the women roared in theirs. 

or maybe it was just the drinks. who’s to say. 

but this wasn’t the point. the point  _ started _ when dinah returned from the kitchen with snacks. 

she had, in one ring studded hand, a bag of pretzels, and in the other, a beer for helena. she was talking through that earnest grin in return to something montoya said, flopping back on the other end of the couch beside the assassin. the couch itself, dinah’s own that she brought from her previous place, a dark brown curdoury, only sat two people as it was but even still helena felt herself  stiffen as dinah leaned into her space. slowly drew herself over to hand the beer to helena which she took – 

but then she didn’t move back. 

instead, dinah shifted her body and _leaned,_ propped herself up against helena’s side. right over her arm, her head held up by the buff shoulder. like it was _nothing._ just made herself comfortable and continued to quip at montoya about that new girl she’s seeing who apparently worked in a firm. and the deadly killer altogether couldn’t move. 

she could feel the warmth of dinah’s body pressed through the long-sleeved flannel she had on. her long, golden braids dangled over helena’s chest and arm, barely brushing along her neck, the cuffs and gold wire wrapped around  glinting in the occasional light. she’d expected them to be  coarse but they were surprisingly soft, showing the daily care dinah must put into her hair. 

helena tried to take deep breaths to stay calm, but that was a mistake. the scent of cloves, something warm like spice but not sweet like cinnamon, surrounded her. helena wasn’t sure if it was the songstress’s shampoo or perfume or what but it settled in her and that was it. all helena could do was sit there in complete stillness as her friends laughed and joked and let themselves fall back in a way she never knew how to – and watched dinah with glazed eyes and a look no one could completely place, feeling her warmth soak into her bones.

if helena was anything though, it sure as hell wasn’t subtle. and so that’s probably why after god knows how long oggling  dinah  like a goddamn high school girl  over  the boy’s basketball  team’s  dreamboat, she felt eyes burning into her head. she turned, finding cass watching her with sincere curiosity in those focused brown eyes; always sharp,  as there was little the kid actually missed. 

except this time she didn’t gloat about catching someone sneaking an extra cupcake from the fridge or proudly announce who was coming down the hall by the type of  footsteps. her eyes widened  instead and she spun back around to pretend like she was never there, returning to her marshmallow jar, (rightly) figuring that helena would wring her neck if she pointed out what  she may or may not have seen.

and helena would’ve, had no one else been here. if harley and montoya weren’t here to tease her about it, or if dinah wasn’t on her shoulder, at best giving her a  _ you’re not awful to look at either h,  _ and at worst, becoming so uncomfortable she’d never talk to helena again. a thought that scared her far more then the killing spree that’d been her only life. 

besides, there wasn’t anything to even tease about. nothing, even when they called it a night, heading to bed and calling a cab for harley and cass (which helena, who had the  inheritance money, had to pay for anyway), and she crawled under the cotton sheets  and glared at the spackle above her head and thought about the slight skin indent on her shoulder from dinah’s braid cuff and the casual intimacy of the act and, for a moment of true sincerity she never allowed herself, what it would be like if dinah laid right next to her.

-

the mission wasn’t  suppose to go this way. but they slipped up.

helena should’ve had him, and she didn’t know what happened. it was all corners and no where for the motherfucker to go and yet he slipped from helena’s chase. he’d run off out the alley with the bag of money and she followed him, renee and dinah right on her heels, to the massive loading truck on the curb. she watched him throw the money inside the back, scramble onto the passenger side with the cargo door starting to close to make their getaway, and maybe this is where helena should’ve stopped and thought about it. realize this was not the best of choices and stopped to talk to her teammates about what they should do (a year in now and they’ve now got a solid handle on the whole team thing), or just call the loss because it’s not like they get to win everytime. 

however helena wasn’t trained to lose. she was trained to kill and to take down no matter the costs and to use her anger for all it’s worth. which explains why she instead grit her teeth and jumped right  after that bag of money because he was a fucking fool if he thought he could shake her off that  easily,  sliding under the truck door  as it shut.

leaving her teammates behind and their screams to her to  stop and just drop him.

she’d realize her mistake after, when she was locked inside a cargo truck with no way out and no way to know when it’d stop, and no back-up thanks to her now smashed phone. thankfully the goons driving had no idea she was in there; she stuffed the cash and what was clearly other hocked stuff into her bag, and then simply waited until the truck stopped. it did, about a day later, having taken them to a city far out of gotham; they opened up the truck and helena was _ready,_ taking out the two of them and a couple others that’d been there at the drop-off spot.

there was clearly more men operating this sting, but this time helena realized her limits, that she couldn’t take on this whole thing alone, already bloody and bruised. so with these scum laid out cold and bleeding, she quickly swiped a rusty but useable motorcycle nearby and sped off. except she had no idea where she was going and turns out, this drop-off was way more remote then it seemed,  not only leading her down the wrong roads but ones so far out, there wasn’t a payphone or signal in site.

by the time she got home it was three days later and she was half-dead to the world. the bike had taken her most of the way but just as she was entering gotham it’d broken down, leaving her to crawl through gotham’s streets until her boots had holes right through the bottoms and the early sun was barely peeking over the slick silver high rises. there was dirt over her arms and slivers of blood on her face from scrapes and scratches and she was so hungry she just might start eating her gloves.

what she wasn’t expecting though, was the catharsis when she reached the familiar chalked up building and their bungalow over the grocers (after dropping off the rescued bounty to the police). there’d be the relief of getting to lay down and kick off these stupid boots sure, but there was another gentle relief that washed over her when stepping over the creaking hardwood and passing the maroon brown hall walls. a coming home.

helena had never truly had a home to return to. in her growing up she had her uncles with it’s old italian architecture and the grassy planes of the countryside, which she never strayed  from for her training. otherwise she’d always had motel rooms. shoddy rentals for indefinite stays. nothing personal to embrace her when she stepped through. now, she had something that resembled an actual home with not just her things but renee’s banged up furniture and dinah’s fifty million haircare bottles in the bathtub and the roll-away they keep for cass’s stays and the plants they  _ tried  _ to keep alive but most often died. 

she’d also never had anyone to come home to either. 

the door whipped open before helena could even wrap her fingers around the chipped gold doorknob. she blinks back to find  dinah standing in the doorway in jeans and an old grey hoddie, a far cry from her usual chic to-a-T outfits  (later, helena will remember that  it was still too early then even for dinah to dress into proper clothes). there was the drawl of startled, heavy silence where the taller watched brown  eyes widen and then a shocked but relieved whisper, 

“ _holy shit.”_

dinah bolts and helena can do nothing as arms wrap around her shoulders and there’s a chin resting over and she’s being held tight. she freezes for about the first half a second because she can’t  remember the last person who clung  onto her like she’d slip right through the floor otherwise. it was sudden and she wasn’t, at first response, sure what to do with it. 

then, something bizarre clicked in. her  stiffness melted faster then it ever does and when she really registered dinah holding her done-dead body close it just  _ sighed.  _ everything washed off and her eyes slipped closed and her arms came around too, fingers clutching to the soft grey material. her chin rested on the opposing shoulder, shifting closer to dinah’s hair and the familiar scent of spiced cloves she didn’t realize she’d missed so much in those three days of hell hit her and helena realized –

she didn’t know home could have a particular scent. 

when they were inside, after briefly screaming at her for what the hell she thought she was doing climbing inside that truck and they thought she was _dead,_ dinah demanded helena sit down at the couch to look at her wounds. the assassin did, but barely got through her explanation of what happened and that her own phone broke and there were no others as dinah cotton-swapped rubbing alcohol on her and placed bandages, and suddenly she was asleep. she woke up some time later, draped over the couch in the same clothes, with her head resting on a lap covered in familiar blue jeans as the murmur of the t.v echoed – having awoken to the soft trailing of fingers going through her hair. she felt her heart pick up a tad, having never, ever, been extended the intimacy of someone playing with her hair – and it was one of the most gentle and lovely things.

maybe she should’ve gotten up; this felt a bit like a lie. but for once, helena followed something other then her  pragmatism and shut her eyes that dinah never saw open, drifting away. waited till later for when renee gets home and angry-relived punches her arm saying  _ “what the hell where you thinking jumping  _ _ in that truck _ _ like that?! christ, we were up around the whole city looking for you!”  _ and seeing cass who’ll throw her arms around her middle and harley too who’ll say  _ you really gave us a scare, doll  _ but pretend to wave it off with  _ “I mean, not for me, but for these losers.”  _

she falls into the easiest sleep of her life knowing all that could wait. 

-

despite the niceties of dinah finger-combing her hair and what’d happened, helena didn’t think she would return the favour. if everyone was honest, helena was not the person you crawl to for comfort – and she wouldn’t even blame them for thinking that.

it was a couple months later when she’d just returned from a late-night run; it helps with her sleeping troubles. montoya told her she was waiting to be yet another one of gotham’s random stabbing victims runnin’ around that late, but when you’ve been trained on twenty different ways to kill a man with just a switchblade and you’re built like a linebacker, it doesn’t worry you that much. 

she got in, took a quick shower, and was grabbing a drink from her designated robin hood mug when her attention was pulled  through the kitchen window outside. it was open, firstly, when montoya has this weird thing about closing them all at night, and she could smell smoke trailing inside. 

well, it didn’t take a genius to decipher this. 

helena  clamoured out and onto the fire escape, hands gripping onto the rusted red metal as she took the steps to the roof. when she reached the top, she  hoisted herself up by gripping onto the edge  of the brown tile, spotting – 

there she was. dinah,  sitting there with a  cigarette dangling from her fingers and pretty eyes up towards gotham’s smoggy sky – until they landed on helena’s head poking over. 

“..hey.” helena spoke, not sure what else to say. 

“oh..” dinah blinked back, seeming to adjust “‘ey...” 

helena pulled herself up with ease, taking a seat on the rather uncomfortable  and dirty tile roof beside her. dinah, wrapped in her leather jacket, starred down at her boots rather then at her friend.

“...I’m sorry, if..if the smoke was bothering you or something..–”

“no, no, it’s cool..” helena shrugged “I was just..wondering what you doing, ‘cause it’s not like gotham’s city skyline is something to behold..” 

dinah chuckled, but it was hallow. she still wasn’t looking at helena either, and for someone like dinah with an easy approach, that was odd. something was off. 

“ I was just..doin’ nothing..” 

helena didn’t buy it, watching her put the cigarette to her lips. she takes another close look at her teammate and that’s when she noticed another thing in her  hand; the other one, that wasn’t made of poison. 

it was a photo; helena subtly tried to lean in to get a closer look. an old photo, given away by it’s folded creases and torn edge. it showed, from the waist up, a woman; she wore a pretty dress and was smiling wide to the camera, long dark hair falling down her shoulder. it look like it was taken mid-moment, that she’d been doing something but someone caught her in a laugh as she probably jokingly told them off for taking it. 

helena knew who it was immediately. that dimple cracking the smile and the nose were  dinah’s, you could see it from a mile. having noticed her  leering, dinah glanced over at helena, gazes clashing.

“...she’s pretty.” helena offered. and she was. dinah scoffed, looking down to the photo with, finally, a faint smile. 

“yeah, she was a looker..”  right as the smile appeared, it faded away,  the melodic voice suddenly missing it’s warmth as she spoke “ she would've been fifty-three today...” 

helena froze. she didn’t know what to say to that. not that dinah was really looking for an answer honestly,  simply staring down at the photo with far-away eyes. a silence stretched over instead, and not a comfortable one like normal. helena tended to cause silences with her inability to hold any kind of conversation, but with dinah, they never made her nervous or reminded her of her complete ineptitude. they were always comfortable, helped  by dinah’s ease and that way she had to make  conversations appear from nowhere and make  you feel welcomed into  any talk. 

this one, right now, this was strained. and she hated it. helena could sense the heaviness weighing on dinah and she wasn’t sure how to fix it. thankfully though, dinah broke it, keeping her attention to the photo. 

“did I ever tell you how I got my powers?..” 

helena shook her head, despite dinah not even looking in her direction. 

“they’re hereditary..from my mom..” she explained and that, helena did not know “and she used it..to help people. to stop those who were doing wrong; saving innocents and even, helping out the cops in their cases, the whole thing...” 

“is that how montoya knew her?...” 

“yep..” she sighed “she helped a lot of people – and yet...no one was there when she died..”

helena nervously bit her lips, eyeing  dinah. the songstress never talked much about her past, a wall built there despite her warmth, and helena couldn’t help but be curious. 

“...how old were  you?..when that happened?..” 

dinah sighed again, eyes out to the horizon “fourteen..” 

young. younger then helena was when she lost hers, but young still “and no one tried to help you? the cops or anything?..” 

“nah, not really..”  another empty smile “and, even if they had, I’d run off anyway; I didn’t want anything to  do with anyone who might’ve been fodder for her..ending up like that. I just booked it and..forgoed any of that do-good, hero bullshit she always believed in...” 

“except..now..” helena brought up, hoping her tone sounded as positive as she was trying to make it. which she’d always been poor at, surprise.

“yeah..” dinah’s scoff was empty, smile pressed until it disappeared “but then...just..I..I guess..” 

“what?..” 

“it’s not enough.” she shook her head, a firmness etching her features but surprise covering helena’s “she was always..doing everything, doing whatever  good she could. and look at me..” another empty laugh, blinking back gloss helena caught with a sinking heart “worked for complete asshole scum..abandoned everything she tried to teach me..– and, god, if she were here right now she’d smack this out of my hand!..” 

dinah held up her cigarette, shaking her head in dry amusement. tight silence folded over again, the songstress flicking the white smoking paper off the roof and  muttering with heavy defeat. 

“it’s not enough..” 

“ are you serious???” 

helena didn’t mean for that to come out as loud as it did, but she let her shock, and almost, perhaps, betrayal, that dinah would even _think_ that about herself speak ahead. dinah squinted back in confusion but helena was already going, words tumbling out with utter defiance against her friends’. 

“your mother...she should be in..such  _ awe  _ of you!..” 

dinah just looked even more lost, brow pinching “why???” 

“‘cause I am! everyday!” she battered back and dinah dropped her confusion, still not understanding but her features softened and helena’s voice  lowered a little seeing it “...I’m constantly in awe of you..” 

they simply stared at each other after that. dinah somewhat blown away and confused, helena nervous at what she just potentially revealed. but she realized dinah should probably have some kind of explanation, so she took a deep breath in, scooting slightly closer to her. 

“..do you remember that mission, some time back, when you bruised your ankle?..” 

dinah slowly nodded her head.

“you said it was fine, but it was obvious you couldn’t walk on it. renee also had a busted up nose from one of the assholes. with that, and  them getting away, she..tried to say we should call it, address the injuries and regroup. before I could actually agree with her ‘cause both of my friends were busted up, you said no. you refused to go back, wanted to keep going, because... because, you said, this could be the night someone unfairly looses their life. this could be the night a kid comes back from the corner store and is stolen. the night some sicko with a gun shoots a cashier to take the money and now his daughter doesn’t have a dad..” 

dinah recalled that night exactly, but still didn’t say anything. helena pressed her lips together, pushing to keep going through the quiet. 

“..you said, you never know who’s life we’re going to save or who’s family or partner we’re keeping them from losing. so we had to keep going...”

“yeah..” dinah  spoke finally “that made for a fun trip to the emergency ward after..” 

helena chuckled quietly and even dinah scoffed lightly. 

“yeah. but, I didn’t stop thinking about that after, and I haven’t at all really. because, I hadn’t ever really thought about it like that before...” 

helena tried to collect herself. she’d never been good at barring her soul like this, at speaking about the softer parts she refused to acknowledge, but what was more important was that dinah knew this.

“..everyone has their motivations. montoya wants to do what’s  morally  right, wants to be the one who finally cleans this city of crime. and I..well, am just really good at fighting. killing was what I was trained to do, so..once I finished my mission, it was good I found another way to  utilize that.  you..you’re different dinah..” 

now she looked up. warm browns meeting colder, tightening the air around. helena took another deep breath.

“you do this..because it’s what you _believe in._ to help others, to be good to them and protect them....I don’t know how to do that..” her throat started to close, helena glaring at her shoes as her fingers curled into her palm “..all I know is how to hurt. to yell and punch and make people bleed. I don’t know..how to be kind like that..” 

“that’s not true..” came the mumble,  nearly making helena jump  from it’s suddenness. 

“isn’t it?..” 

“if it is, then why’d you give cass your car?..” 

helena paused. she hadn’t thought of that. mostly because, she’d  simply sympathized with cass in that moment of terror for such a young  girl. if she hadn’t gone through nearly the same thing, she wasn’t sure she would’ve done it. 

“I just..I knew what she was feeling in that moment, so I could do it. that’s all..”

“bull. you love her and you wanted to help her. there’s plenty in you h, even underneath all that rage and dark clothing..” 

helena scoffed, shaking her head.

“that’s the thing; maybe it’s there, but I don’t know _how_ to handle it, how to bring it out. training kind of beat it all out of me. now I just try to hide it; that way, if I bury any softness, I can do my best work killing. but you...”

helena starred back and dinah’s browns are starring into hers and they’re open and gorgeous and her throat is suddenly so tight she can barely get out what she wants to say, because she was so, so amazed by this woman, voice pushing in all it’s earnesty and cracking at the edges. 

“your  softness  _ lifts  _ you. it’s the reason you’re doing this, because you want to help. truly and earnestly. you’re not doing it for glory or because it’s what you’re  suppose to or because it’s just what you’re good at or anything – you’re going it because you have a heart that cares more then anyone’s. and I may have not known your mom, but..I think that’s probably exactly how she hoped you would’ve  turned out...”

helena’s never said anything like that before. and especially to dinah. she only stares back at the assasin who swallows roughly, heart leaking out through her quiet confession,

“...you are the best of  us, dinah..” 

now, it was dinah who didn’t know what to say. she dropped helena’s eyes in her humble  attitude, light smile that was shaking a little. 

“jesus h..” she tried to laugh it off, but it was wobbly “now I wish I’d prepared a speech for you too..” 

helena only shrugged, also not sure how to reply. silence passed over again, but it wasn’t a pressured silence this time. instead it was calm and both women, starring out into the night sky, were content to sit and share space. helena couldn’t help noticing how close they’d suddenly become – physically, that is, knees nearly touching and to where she could trace the smoke sitting on dinah’s jacket. helena glanced over to the photo between dinah’s fingers and their chipped black nailpolish, observing the woman’s face again. how happy she looked. how kind. how good of a mother, dinah must’ve had.

“..you can talk about her, you know..” helena offered quietly, eyes up to her “if you want..” 

helena knew how important that was, to talk about them. she never really had a way to talk about her parents, someone to confine in about her mom even if she let herself do that. and now, she’s losing pieces; how her mother smiled, her favourite meal, the colour she loved to dress in. it’s fading from her because she never let herself speak it. 

dinah only nodded. helena flicked her eyes back to the photo. remarking on the shape of her nose, the line of her jaw, the true smile. and the kind, brown eyes. all familiar. 

“...she looks like you, you know.” 

helena didn’t think before speaking, again, when maybe she really should have. she watches dinah’s strong and tough composure all but crumble, lips pressing tightly together and tears starting to well. helena’s stomach dropped through. oh shit. oh god, she’d fucked up. why the hell did she say that –  why the hell did she even think it was a good idea to _come up here,_ she is literally the _worst person_ to deal with this!

“shit, I’m sorry –” helena fumbled, reaching out to dinah but unsure of how to do that kind of thing so just ended up placing  her hand on her knee, trying to seem  affirming “I’m so sorry –”

“ _no..”_ dinah gasped,  adamant despite the heartbreak, thumb wiping under the corner of her eye  and somehow smiling “you really shouldn’t be..” 

helena still thinks she should be, but she wasn’t about to argue about it. she puts her head down instead to be polite as the songstress tried to compose herself, hand still over her knee, and despite being totally clueless, tried to rub her fingers over encouragingly like she’s seen dinah do for cass hundreds of times. 

later, helena will find dinah talking to renee about her mom, some laughs spoken through tears, renee gripping onto dinah’s arm and tone hard in it’s certainty but kind all the same and even _she_ was teary when talking ( _‘I see so much of her in you..’_ ) which is really saying something for renee. helena guesses that makes more sense, for dinah to talk about her mom to someone else who knew her. she wasn’t gunna be upset that she wasn’t the one who got confided in – especially considering what happened next. 

from nowhere, dinah’s head was on her shoulder. helena stiffened – but not because the touch was unwanted. just from surprise. she could feel dinah’s heaviness and the slight wetness on her cheek and the vulnerability this was taking as she sunk into the assassin’s side. it wasn’t like that girl’s night kick-back. it lacked the casualty and lightness of having a fun I’ll-lean-on-your-shoulder-while-we-sit-back-and-gab moment. this was bigger. this was dinah slipping in her heartache and leaning, physically and metaphorically, on helena to keep her afloat.

again, helena had no idea how the hell to do that, but she knew she’d never let dinah fall. not knowing she had it in her, helena carefully raised her hand behind her. and fingers ever-so-slightly touched the intricate beauty that was dinah’s hair. 

they practically sunk through, weaving into the strands. the occasional braid crossing the pads of her fingers through the waves. nails scraping the gold painted rings or wire. she carefully brushed her fingers through and swearing she never felt anything softer in her goddamn life. and then, helena heard dinah sigh softly, and watched as her eyes quietly slipped closed. 

so there helena sat. up on the dirty roof of their apartment, dinah cuddled up to her side, resting contently, as she gently played with her hair. it took her a little while to realize she was also holding in her breath – as if, the second she let it out, this moment would break and  disappear and dinah would get up and decide she didn’t want her comfort. 

and helena wanted more then anything, to have an arm securely around dinah and help hold her through the crushing hurt of what she lost. 

to stay here forever. 

-

it’s a birthday. it’s someone’s birthday. helena couldn’t exactly remember who’s. no – wait, it’s her. it’s her birthday. that’s right! that’s why she’s wearing this stupid fucking sparkly birthday crown harley put on her head and is drunk enough to last two days.

she’d been thrown for a loop when she walked through the apartment door after being on grocery duty, and her three friends plus the kid nearly jumped her with grins and ‘happy birthday!’s. she yelled at them not only because she hates surprises but also for how the hell they knew her birthday. and thirdly, because she also hates going out and if they had to do  _ anything _ she’d prefer a nice dinner with some wine ( _ “wine? who’re you trying to be?” “I’m italian!!”),  _ but of course not. instead her friends had planned a quote ‘actual party’ and there was no getting out of it. 

firstly they pregamed at the house, which is where cass – who was not allowed to come and would instead get dropped off for bruce to watch over her (helena still didn’t love that idea of her alone but made harley swear this place was better hidden then their last) – gave helena her gift. she pretended to be too cool about it but  her excitement was obvious when she placed them in helena’s hands. arrows. that cass made herself. she fastened some with apparently scraps she found in alleys, painted their sharp edges with the only colour helena allows, a dark purple, and even scratched  _ huntress  _ in wobbly printing on their sides. helena’s glad in that moment that she’d only had a couple beers, because if she’d been as drunk as she was now she’s not sure she wouldn’t have gotten emotional. 

after that, it was down to a local bar that plays live rock music, a genre they knew she loved. they surely looked interesting walking in; helena in her casual flannel because she didn’t own anything nice, montoya in a dark jacket and jeans that was good for going out but casual enough, harley in some sparkly monstrosity, and dinah who’d spent two hours getting ready with tight coloured pants and leather jacket and a fishnet-like shirt underneath and dark make-up that helena did her all to avoid oggling. but couldn’t keep it up. after shot platters of whiskey which she could handle and tequila that she thought was disgusting, things got hazier.

they were in the throng of the crowd as the guitar blasted and shook the building and helena found herself  _ enjoying  _ it. surrounded by her friends as they cheered and banged their heads and she was fed more drinks that she tried to deny and before she knew it, it was three hours later and the  band was done and her and montoya were having a screaming match over the pool table covered in beer bottles. renee claimed to be the pool master back at the station and had no problem ‘handing those pricks asses to them’ but beside helena’s uncles giving her training, they  _ also  _ taught her both poker and pool  during their off-hour games. 

‘ _I don’t know a fucking shit about the newest music or some stupid 80’s movie or whatever.’_ helena  drunkenly slammed the black  _ 8  _ ball she’d clear-shot into the net back onto the table, manic grin very similar to the one she gave before she slit some asshole’s throat  _ ‘but I fucking know pool!’  _

renee did throw a fit when she lost the third game, breaking her stick. she almost got a leg up over helena who got more then distracted by dinah and harley laughing it up as they danced to the music and she watched dinah’s hips roll and how she danced as sultry as she sung, but managed to keep it together to bring it home and making her uncles proud, she’s sure (it was more or less helped by renee nearly hitting her with a bottle and yelling _‘_ _bertinelli, get your head out of your pants!’)._

“ _what_ – I’m not doing shit!..” she snapped, red cheeks  defying her. renee scoffed, grinning. 

“yeah right. look, I can’t say I blame you.” she leaned her small body over the table, trying to line up her shot “most of em’ are just too young for me..” 

helena looked out again, relived that renee meant most of the young women out there dancing, not having noticed the eyes she was giving their teammate.

“you know, you’ve never said if you have, or had, a girl..” 

“shut the fuck up.” 

“I’m serious! you know, it’s your birthday.” renee glanced over her shoulder at the much taller  woman, a grin included  “if you wanna go home without us tonight, I’m not gunna stop you..” 

“ it  _ sounds  _ like you’re just looking for an out from the game!” helena challenged, downing the rest  of her beer then saying as she wiped her chin “so c’mon; line up your shot so I can kick your ass.” 

by the time they were heading home, the night sky was just starting to turn light and helena could barely see in front of her. she’s never drank like this and if she wasn’t being (literally) held up by her friends it would’ve been concerning. she wasn’t sure how  she got home but here they were,  a cab for harley and renee in bed and now her roaming around dinah in the washroom with her blood still singing in her veins. 

“h, sit the fuck down.” dinah tried to be stern as she slipped off her jewellery and wiped off her make-up, but a smile clung on. 

“we-we should go out.” helena demanded, pacing up and down the  hall, sharp turns a little wobbly “like, it-it’s still 4 am, there’s still fucking shitstain criminals up – I wanna kick their ass! I’m gunna!” 

“don’t you always want to.” dinah innocently rolled her eyes, sticking her hand out the doorway to grab helena’s thick  bicep and plucking the crown off her head “c’mon killer,  you gotta lie down –”

“no!” she yanked her arm away “I don’t  _ want  _ to lie down – c’mon, dinah, we gotta go, we gotta sick those assholes –”

“h, you go outside like this right now, you’re  gunna get your head bashed in –”

“am not!” the toddler-like  defence make dinah chuckle, only ruffling her feathers “I was  _ high-highly trained  _ in martial arts from _ top  mob killers _ – no one can touch me!” 

“even when you’re drunk off your ass?” 

“not a sin –  _ hiccup _ – single cunt!” the argument didn’t win dinah over,  just produced more eye-rolling, so helena gave her an innocent-though-hearty shove, putting up her fists “c’mon! I’ll show you! show me what you got lance!” 

dinah snorted, turning around down the hall “yeah,  _ that’s  _ a no..” 

“c’mon! where’re your balls?!” she followed dinah, giving another egging shove. 

“h, knock it off –”

“make me! put your fucking  money where y-your mouth is lance, or do you not think you could  _ handle  _ a fight with me –”

dinah’s leg came swinging around so fast helena barely registered it, hitting her in the stomach. she doubled, managing to grab onto the bathroom doorway before landing on the floor. she stared back at dinah with half-anger-half-shock, watching, her stomach coiling tight when dinah grins and says teasingly, 

“don’t make me play rough, babe.” 

oh no. helena wasn’t letting that go. she  leapt right back up, throwing a left hook that dinah swiftly dodged. within seconds, they were tightlocked in a flurry of movements – punches, grabs, dodges, sidesteps and dinah’s high kicks. they raged and danced around each other with grins and loud laughs because this was each of them in their element, for once using it playfully then to  mutually rip into some evil-doer. helena was having more fun then she ever remembered  having during training and watching dinah grin as  she egged her only made it more fun. dinah was perfection and poise in  every move and even more gorgeous when she fought with all the passion she had.

it was when dinah threw a punch where helena ducked under it and as swiftly as shouldn’t be possible when this drunk, swung an arm around the perfectly defined stomach and lifted her up. 

“ _hey_ – hey!” dinah yelled as helena threw her onto her shoulder, fists thumping against the assasin’s back  who only laughed “put me down!! put me down you fucking asshole!”

“call it then lance!” helena grinned, arm curled around the warm waist to hold her up as she walked about “if you can’t get down, admit defeat!”

helena should’ve seen the knee jabbed into her stomach coming, but was too high and mighty to bother, suddenly finding herself crashing onto the floor with dinah flopping ontop of her. she groaned at the bruises she’ll definitely have in the morning, blinking back – and finding dinah’s face so close to hers their noses could brush. 

“what’s that you were saying?..” dinah whispered through a smirk, breath ghosting over helena’s lips so close helena swore she could almost taste that fruity cocktail thing she’d had. 

helena tried to come up with a quip back but it all started to fade, grin slipping, when she realized everything. when she felt dinah’s stomach pressing against hers with every heavy breath she took. when she noticed dinah’s soft fingers gripping around her arms to pin them. when she felt the golden braids tickling the side of her cheek. when she felt dinah’s hips gently pressing against her own. how she’d just been starring into those fierce and warm brown eyes that she adored so much. 

from seemingly nowhere there was a tight curling in her lower stomach and her face was all red and god, dinah’s lips were so close. they were so close. close enough helena started thinking about how dinah’s lower lip would taste if she sucked it between her own and then thinking _what the hell_ because she doesn’t think about stuff like that.

dinah must’ve noticed too because out of nowhere her grin  disappeared, lips pressing together, and she immediately released helena, jumping back up. there was a couple  stilted seconds of silence where dinah cleared her throat and helena simply laid there thinking about how few inches were between their mouths. 

“ you-you should go to bed h..” dinah said, putting on another one of her signature easy smiles “c’mon, I’ll help you..” 

“I...don’t know if I can..” helena spoke truthfully, ignoring the offered hand “I think I’m  stuc..– oh no..”

this time there was an unpleasant sour twist in helena’s stomach, making her bolt upright, dinah eyeing her weirdly. 

“oh  _ shit _ – oh god oh god oh god!..” helena  jumped up, hand clasped over her mouth and rushing desperately to the washroom as dinah got the picture and began laughing loudly. 

“happy birthday motherfucker!” 

-

“ whoooo wants rum and  eggnogg????” 

“I’ll take one.” 

“me too.” 

“I want one too!” 

“nice try kid, I don’t think  so.”

“why not?!” 

“uh, because you’re twelve years old.” 

“so I get to be excluded from everything?!

“ fine. Harley, put  some eggnog in a glass for cass. put it in a scotch  glass to make her feel better. can’t tell the difference that way.” 

cass glared despite dinah’s grin, dodging to avoid the hand as dinah leaned from where she sat to ruffle her hair. helena smiled to herself, grabbing another gumdrop from the bowl and placing it on the gingerbread roof. her and cass were almost done the house; it’d taken them an hour, and honestly, everyone’s surprised, helena herself, that she didn’t just loose her shit over the backwall collapsing for the tenth time and smash it. but in reality, it was actually kind of fun, doing the house with the kid. she never really got to do this before; her parents, being italian and catholic, were big on christmas sure, but it was more church services then  activities like this.

the group was really getting into the holiday spirit though; cass and harley had come over – crashed  truthfully but this wouldn’t be the first time for them – and the group settled  into their christmas eve,  with festive drinks and christmas movies playing on in the background and the  ridiculous santa hat harley was wearing that she unsuccessfully tried to put on the others. right now they were just  idling by until the  traditional christmas dinner of delivery pizza comes; renee was in the other room trying to hide the gifts because no one trusted cass (or harley) within an inch, and the rest were in the living room, cass and helena working on their house and dinah watching their work as she smoked by the window. 

“ done, boom!” cass declared, throwing up her hands in triumph. helena leaned over, seeing the ‘BOP’ cass had spelled out on her side of the roof with smarties. 

“what’s BOP?” 

“Birds of Prey, duh.” cass replied, pressing down a green smarties in the B that was sliding off. helena scoffed, a smile coming over. 

“nice work..” she flicked her eyes over to dinah who was also watching, gazes catching and sharing the grin. 

“hey, does anyone remember how to like...make these?..” 

“god, harley,  what the hell did you do?” dinah sighed. 

“nuthin! I just dunno, how to..measure it out is all. I think I just....put in enough rum but not enough nog...” 

“just give it to renee then.”  helena said, dinah sniggering.

harley groaned dramatically, head dropping back “this is so  _ haaarrdddddd..”  _

“it’s not _even_ harley – aren’t you the asshole with the phd?!”

“ well it looks like I’m going to need an extra pair of  eyes to help me measure – dinah, can you be a dear and come help me?..” 

dinah groaned, but, due to her (unfortunate) good nature, got up from the  sill, flicking her cig into the ashtray and shut the window. which maybe was for the better, as it was starting to get rather chilly inside with the wintry white landscape of outside. 

“okay what do you –”

“wait! um, I need you too helena, c’mere stringbean!” 

“why do you need both of us?” helena furrowed. she hadn’t finished her side of the roof yet and cass was already moving on to building the marshmallow snowmen, and she wanted a part in it.

“two will get the job done quicker and then we can all drink merrily, so c’mere, tall and lean!” 

helena sighed, pushing back her chair and walking into the entrance of the kitchen, stopping beside a folded-armed  dinah, who’s eyeing the mess harley had made attempting to mix with a bunch brow. 

“christ harley, we leave you alone for one minute..– okay, all you need is like a shot’s worth of run in a glass. there should be some glasses in the –”

“yeah yeah, got it,” harley didn’t seem to be paying any attention to the advice she asked for, grabbing the rum bottle and  not-so-subtly glancing up above her friends heads’ like she was checking for something – only for that manic grin to appear over red lips and causing helena’s stomach to plummet because that was  _ never  _ good. 

“well my my, look what we have have here!...” 

not knowing what she was up to now, both dinah and helena tilted their heads up to the roof above – to find a bushel of mistletoe there. 

now helena’s stomach actually falls through the floor. 

who the fuck put mistletoe there? how they hell did they even get mistletoe? what was it doing there? helena could already feel how hot her face was and she could barely even look dinah in the face. 

“looks like two somebodies are gettin’ lucky tonight!” harley grinned,  proceeding to make obnoxious kissing noises.

helena’s face got even redder, somehow. oh no. that wasn’t happening. she wasn’t kissing dinah. this isn’t even how she would want to kiss her; not rushed and with everyone watching. not that she’s thought about kissing dinah. not really. just in her dreams sometimes. or in theory. hypothetically. that doesn’t count as like, actually thinking about kissing her or thinking of how soft her lips would be or her lipstick that would stain over her own or anything. god, was she sweating??

“wow. real slick harley.” dinah said; her arms were still folded,  and while she didn’t sound impressed, if she wanted her voice to sound harsher,  it could’ve been. instead it was lighter. helena didn’t know what the hell that meant then.

“you couldn’t even tape it over a doorway or something. instead it’s taped to the fucking ceiling.” 

helena glanced up again. it was infact, taped right to the ceiling. one strip of scotch tape holding it up to the spackle. 

“ I can’t  _ believe  _ you would accuse me of such a thing!” harley gasped with a hand over her chest, skipping up to them, still smiling “now, you two can  just do it and I can hand ovah your nog,  _ ooorrr,  _ you can stand here all night and dishonour the rules of christmas by not kissing.”

“how the fuck would you know anything about christmas?!” helena demanded, only getting more embarrassed “aren’t you jewish?!” 

“don’t try to deflect this onto me, stringbean.” harley was still fucking smiling and at this rate her face was on a collision course with helena’s fist “you stood under the mistletoe, time to pucker up!” 

“ we didn’t do anything! this is fucking ridiculous!” helena snapped,  anger rising, because if she hates anything, and yes while that included one too many things, the biggest was feeling like she’d been had,  and then the second was someone making her confront her feelings “there are no rules of christmas so just take that fucking thing down so I don’t kick your ass clean into next week –”

dinah leans up to match helena’s two extra inches and there’s warm lips kissing her cheek. helena just freezes. they’re so soft and she can feel the slight gloss smearing over from the dark lipstick. she can feel dinah’s body heat radiating off her from being so close and how her fingers are on her shoulder to keep her from tipping over. her whole body is red now and her heart is on more adrenaline then if she was hunting on a high stakes mission. 

but before she can even turn to dinah, she leans back down, leaving the imprint on helena behind. helena looks down at her with wide eyes and the most dumbfounded expression, simply finding, of course, that easy and bright smile looking back at her.

“huzzah!” harley cheered, throwing her arms up in a little dance “dinah, I knew you were a team player. nice job on the smooch. now, to the nog!” 

satisfied, harley returns to her  bar tending. helena couldn’t help, still looking back to dinah. her brain is  short circuiting. no one has ever kissed her or anything. she can feel the lip imprint searing sweetly into her cheek. 

“what..y-you..why...” 

dinah shrugged playfully, still smiling “..you’re kinda cute when you’re angry..” 

_ when. _ helena blinked back in confusion “.. but, aren’t I always angry or something?....” 

dinah didn’t say anything. rather helena watched as her grin widened, teeth biting in to try and hold it down, eyes widening as they danced. oh.  _ oh. _ helena started blushing all over again and she swears she’s risking passing out with how fast her heart is going. dinah didn’t bother to elaborate, walking off and chuckling under her breath, off to harley to smack her hands away from the drinks so not everyone ends up with more  rum then eggnog. 

helena stood there for a while, needing some processing time. she still thinks harley is an asshole and that was a dick move. yet, she still couldn’t resist the smile bubbling up and the happiness sitting in her chest,  running her fingers over her cheek while she grins and she knows she looks like a stupid fucking school-girl doing this but whatever. just give her this. 

at least, for the moment. a couple seconds after and then panic starts to sink in the more she realizes – what the hell did that mean? why did dinah kiss her in the first place? it wasn’t like dinah had any problem shutting down harley’s annoyances. and what did that comment even mean? was she actually _cute_ when she was mad? isn’t that an oxymoron? and then there was the implication with her bringing up always being angry and dinah smiled so that goddamn adorable dimple showed too and _surely_ dinah wouldn’t have even implied that if she didn’t mean it, would she? does that mean she actually...thought she was cute? was _that_ what the kiss was for?! did dinah...like her? oh god she was definitely sweating.

something  small and cushion-y hit the back of her head. she whipped around, finding a marshmallow by her feet and cass glaring at her.

“am I going to have do build all these snowmen by myself or are you going to stop standing around like a doofus?!” 

right. the snowmen. helena rolled her eyes and walked back over,  sidelining her worries and  snatching the marshmallow off the floor. she tossed it back at cass and it hit her in the head despite her trying to dodge it because helena doesn’t miss, both laughing a little as cass grabs another to start a marshmallow war right as renee walks back in and snaps that they’re  _ not  _ about to start a food fight in here like it was a school cafeteria causing cass to roll her eyes and harley to stuff the glass of more-run-then-eggnog in her hands as she yells about what’s been going on in here while she’s been gone and dinah says  _ we made sure to get all the fun out without you _ which causes laughs all around.. 

and helena sits back in the  merriment of her family, happier then what’s normal and still feeling the kiss stinging against her cheek. 

-

helena was racing down the dark hall as fast as she could go, bow gripped in her hand and cass at her heels. her body was aching and  she was bleeding down her neck and she had no idea where she was  suppose to go, but by god, she wasn’t going to stop until she reached dinah. she was going to find wherever that motherfucker took her and bash him in for not only what he did to them, but what he was about to do to her. 

or has already done. 

it’d been a haze of shit for the past twenty-four hours. apparently, that group of guys helena had _thought_ she’d taken out at that sting after hoping aboard that truck – she didn’t take _all_ of them out like she believed. there was a straggler who, surprise, didn’t take kindly to his men being slaughtered and blown up; so he gathered a couple of other men to bring revenge upon the women behind it (even though it was helena who ended it, all three birds of prey were the ones originally hunting them that began it). 

a trap laid for the women out bringing down crime in gotham, and in seconds they were being ambushed, taken despite how hard they  fought and thrown into cars before being transported to some  warehouse. they were immediately separated, to, spoke the smug asshole helena remembers punching now opposite her as she sat tied up, be ‘exposed of’; renee went first as her teammates screamed, and then this scum, went up to dinah with a grin and hand around her throat. 

‘ _this one’s a pretty one.’_ he’d hissed as seething hatred came dripping off dinah’s glare _‘I think...this one’s for keeps. I’ll take her. you_ _two stay with the other one.’_

‘ _no!’_ helena had screamed, wriggling desperately from her ropes despite their bind and the knife at her throat _ ‘motherfucker! don’t you fucking dare!’ _

but all that happened was a gloved hand slapping her cheek and getting to watch him lead dinah off god knows where. she sat, in terror and riling anger, with these two other goonies, one holding the knife to her and the other  taking his sweet time deciding what gun to blow holes into helena’s body with. she was clawing for an idea on how the hell to get out of here but kept drawing blanks, teeth gritting as the knife cut slowly across her neck and she found herself starring down the barrel of a gun –

and then she saw cass’s head pop up to the window across from her. 

she swore she must’ve been losing it. between all the hits and the fear of her friends being picked off, she’d dreamt up the kid’s face. but no. the non-fake cass smiled once she saw helena see her and then held up a note to the window that read in her wobbly pringing _‘HOLD YOUR BREATH.’_ helena didn’t understand but did as instructed, taking in a deep breath. and then the head was gone again.

within seconds there was a hole smashed through the glass and something smoking and sizzling dropped in. smoke bomb. helena, now actually getting it, quickly shut her eyes too, but the goons weren’t as lucky. she heard frantic yelling and then heavy coughing, one yelling _‘get out! get out!’_ and the other slamming on the door with _‘_ _it’s_ _jammed!’_ about two seconds after that, two heavy _thunks_ of bodies hitting the ground. 

helena waited until the ropes around her wrists were cut and she was being dragged out of the room to open her eyes – in fact, finding cass there. soon harley appeared too and gave a quick  explanation to her demands, saying they’d heard what’d gone down, and lucky them, some ex-crime doer harley knew, knew where the hideout would be. so here they were for the rescue with a backpack of the bird’s own weapons they picked up, including helena’s bow which she eagerly grabbed, telling them what’d happened to the others  whilst yelling to harley that cass shouldn’t be here  as cass protested.

‘ _look bertienlli, I’ll go get our ex-piggie.’_ harley had promised, laying a hand on helena’s arm  _ ‘you take cass and go get your girl.’  _

there was no time to question what harley meant by that or argue cass from coming as harley ran off with her sparkle gun cackling madly, and helena  ran off with cass for dinah. which is where they are now. 

she can feel cass’s eyes on the back of her head as they ran, already knowing what the kid was thinking. it was some time ago that helena was unexpectedly corned by the tween who asked her, like it was no big at all, _so when’re you gunna ask out dinah?_ helena had attempted to play the oblivious card but cass was smarter then that, rolling her eyes with _you’re totally in love with her; you and the dorky heart-eyes make it so obvious, you should just ask her to marry you or some crap._ helena didn’t care to be told off by a child, but there was no hiding now, hissing to cass who kept offering her services to help that she was dealing with it and to _not breathe a word_ to anyone else.

now cass was clearly eagerly watching to see what she’d do to save the woman she loved – whose death would be on  _ her  _ hands, considering she’d been the reason this asshole wanted his revenge.

and frankly, so was helena.

they slowed once voices started filtering through the hall, helena placing a hand over cass. they moved along the side of the wall with her bow drawn and cass behind, approaching the window where the voices were leaking from. it revealed dinah with tied hands and the scum, his back to them, talking to her but the words were too muffled to pick out – but by the look on dinah’s face, it was something vile. helena motioned for cass to follow her and they crawled under the window to the door – and without prompting, cass slipped a bobby pin from her pocket and began quietly unlocking the door. helena kept her eyes low through the window to watch. 

he was touching her, a finger drawling under her chin as a snarl appeared over her mouth. dinah could keep her temper better then helena, but she had a fierceness that wasn’t to be pressed either – proven when she spat right in his eye. helena would've smiled had this not been the situation. the moment was short lived though when his hand flew back and hit her cheek _hard,_ enough to reverberate and make helena’s blood boil. she breathed in so sharp she barely heard the faint _click_ of cass unlocking the door. 

now he was screaming and clutching her neck, slamming dinah into the wall and the other slipping out a knife. threats of _making her pay_ which is maybe why he pointed the knife to her stomach and sliced open her shirt to reveal a tanktop underneath and then motherfucker _grinned_ and started pressing the knife tip further and further against her stomach and all colour drained from dinah’s face –

helena had learned to better control her anger over the  year and some months. finally living a semi-normal life of not thinking about revenge constantly and laughing with her friends and teaching cass how to play poker and watching her grin when she wins made it loose it’s sharp edges. it didn’t flare up as  often and she breathed a little easier. 

but something happened here. she blacked out somewhere and she felt an ugly white hot  _ searing  _ in her body that hadn’t happened since the first day she  maimed the first man who slaughtered her family – so instead of just standing up and shooting an arrow  to his chest and solving this much quicker she spat out a _ don’t look at this  _ to cass and dove in.

she’s not sure how she managed to run in unnoticed but then she had her own switchblade in her hand and it was in the back of his neck. blood squirted everywhere and on her clothes and she felt the hot spatters on her cheek and it was all fodder for the _screaming_ in her body and her own screaming as she slams his head against the wall and then to the floor and tugs the blade further across his skin. 

she rips the blade through his neck  over and over  like slicing through paper and blood gushes everywhere – over her hands and down his body and soaping through his clothes – and he’s screaming  and trying to push her off but helena  _ has him now  _ and she’s cutting into him until all the blood makes the blade slip out of her fingers so now she just hits and  punches and does whatever damage she can do as she yells and tears gloss over thinking about the knife against dinah, not noticing how his body eventually went limp as she hit and hit and hit despite the bruising over her knuckles –

“ _don’t you fucking touch her!! don’t fucking touch her ever_ _ **ever –”** _

someone’s calling her name. out of nowhere dinah’s hand is on her shoulder, yanking her back. 

“helena stop!  _stop_ h, he’s dead, stop!” she pulls her all the way up to her feet, helena stumbling back as she stares back into dinah’s wide eyes “he’s dead, you killed him!..” 

helena blinks back. her gaze flicks down to the lifeless, red soaked body. dead. she stared back at dinah and finally, her surroundings started to filter in. 

“.. you okay?..” dinah asked tentatively because she can see the rage dripping from helena and it’s different. this wasn’t the normal anger fuelling her to beat-up bad guys that’s usually accompanied with a wild grin. this rage was bleeding and frightened and dangerous and  _not_ helena.

helena doesn’t know if she is. she sees dinah staring at her with concern and slight terror and the cut rope on the ground that was around her wrists and she sees cass hidden behind the doorway peeking through her fingers and she feels the thick red dripping down her hands and her stomach sinks.

“I..I’m sorry..” she whispered because while she wasn’t sorry for what she did, she’s sorry for what they saw. she waits in fear, in the dead silence, for them to recoil from her after that –

“..it’s okay now..” dinah whispers back, all gentleness and bizarre understanding that constantly shocks helena. that was all  she could ask for but dinah steps closer and helena’s breath gets stuck when  she reaches a hand up and cups her  face.

her soft palm slips over helena’s snow cheek, head tiled and warm browns caught in the assasin’s darker ones. her thumb starts smoothing over, rubbing at, helena realizes, the now dried flecks of red  dotted  across. trying to wipe them off.  she’s close enough helena can hear her breathing  and her thumb is moving across so carefully and she’s here, gently trying to ground her by wiping off the marks of her anger  after helena thought  she nearly lost her forever  and for the first time that didn’t include her work, helena knew exactly what to do. 

she surges forward and presses her lips to dinah’s. the songstress stumbles back  slightly in surprise and doesn’t respond for two seconds which is just enough to  make helena worry because it wasn’t like she knew what she was doing either, trying to move her lips against the pair but maybe considering just pulling away and apologizing – until dinah’s fingers  grip and curl around her  cheek.

she pulls helena in and her lips slip open to suck on helena’s bottom one and helena is  _gone._ they kiss and helena soaks dinah in, soaks in this amazing and badass and funny and  kind woman after  months and months and months of  slowly and quietly  falling in love with her, hands gripping onto her waist and she feels  dinah’s rings press lightly  in a grip  against  the side of her neck  that doesn’t have a gash  and this is it, helena’s holding the whole world in her hands. 

they eventually have to stop for air. heads slip downwards, eyes shyly ducking like they’re two middle schoolers awkwardly dancing together at prom then two grown adults, and dinah starts glancing down to her middle as helena started pulling away her hands in realization, revealing blood red handprints.

oh shit. that  definitely wasn’t going to come out, even with the most expensive drycleaning. she glanced up to dinah, eyes wide. 

“..I-I’m sorry about your outfit.” was all she could say with the upmost awkwardness and clunky phrasing. good. finally get the girl and you ruin her outfit. 

and dinah grins. because of course she does. because she’s dinah. she smiles and scoffs and her head hangs down briefly, her braids falling down, grazing, her cheek in this feminine way helena can’t explain but loves. that’s when her own tiny smile appears.

“ hello?!” 

the soft air between them pops and heads spun to cass in the doorway, eyes bugged and hands out to them in frustration. 

“I’m glad you dorks _finally_ got it together long enough to kiss, but can this maybe wait until we’ve rescued our friends from their doom?!”

she didn’t wait for a response, already rushing off. oh. right. red appeared over their cheeks and they quickly got it together, helena grabbing her bow and tossing the gun attached to her belt to dinah – who didn’t waste a second, snatching helena’s arm and pulling her out to run after cass, and towards their friends with that tough grit over her face and hands steady around the pistol.

and helena knows  that’s not the  thing she should be focusing on right now, but god, if she didn’t love that about her. 

-

the most secure touch helena knew came from dinah’s fingers. 

she’d been overtly nervous about this. she had no experience to carry her forward and at her best she was awkward and unsure, where dinah was certain and soft and beautiful and, well, everything helena wasn’t. what if it turned out to be terrible? what if she let her down? 

helena should’ve known better though. should've known dinah better then that, should’ve trusted her intrinsic kindness and patience. that, when they were sat on the couch with montoya out the house and dinah had somehow ended up in  helena’s lap with her lips sucking at her neck and  hips rutting against hers and  helena felt like her whole body was on fucking fire as she nervously gripped dinah’s waist, deep down wanting nothing more then to  tell her to lower herself over her  mouth but struggling with  a nice way to say it. instead when dinah starts to motion to get up from the couch, helena stutters with eyes to the floor, 

“ _I-I haven’t..ever..before...”_

“ _h, I don’t_ care..”

frankly, helena should’ve known that too. 

now it’s morning and she’s in bed and, probably too obtusely, starring at her slumbering girlfriend beside her. the golden braids were splayed everywhere and dinah had her face nestled into the pillow so sweetly you’d never guess she could kick your ass clean. helena could only smile. 

she was content to just watch. she was still reeling from last night, feeling like  her body was still searing from all the ways dinah had run her fingers over it. she’d been as slow and as careful as helena had wanted, letting the taller essentially  _ melt  _ into the mattress with every  press of her hands and kiss she pressed along her  nervous frame until they stopped between her thighs and helena went to heaven and back. 

it wasn’t just that nobody had touched her before. it was that dinah was so incredible. it was that it was so gentle and her girlfriend was so sweet and helena had never known this kind of connection before. only not that long ago she was flinching when renee innocently batted her in the arm and unsure of how to respond when cass threw her arms around her. it was simple really – she didn’t know how to be touched. a hard shell that only knew how to build walls when someone reached for her. 

and dinah fucking cracked her open  by the pads of her fingers alone. 

she  pressed her fingers where helena had never dared to touch before and her lips where by her ear whispering in that fucking beautiful voice,  _ for me baby,  _ and it was so perfect and no one in her life had made her feel that good and suddenly there was no air left in her body and she was  shaking through it – and she was crying. slight gloss over her eyes that was enough to  embarrass her but dinah caught it anyway and her hand slipped over helena’s, grounding her, and assuring,  _ it’s okay, I got you,  _ as she kissed her so soft it could fucking break her. 

seems it already had.

and it just wasn’t how good she made her feel, it was that no one had made her feel that wanted as the way dinah watched her  when she came apart. as the way dinah held her and  traced over every scar and dip of skin like she couldn’t get enough, like she’d been  _ thinking  _ about this moment. it’d been more then nerve wracking for helena to be exposed like that, sans clothes and with dinah that close, practically skin to skin. a kind of vulnerability she didn’t like, that she never allowed for herself. she didn’t allow that trust to damn near anybody, but if she had to extend  it  to anyone, dinah would be the first on that list.

not just because she loves her. because she had the kind of soul that would hold onto something that fragile and swear to never let it drop. 

“take a picture creep, it’ll last longer..” 

helena furrows. she watches dinah’s eyes slowly blink open, meeting her own and grinning  rather cheekily. 

“how did you..” 

“how did I not? you were staring so hard I’m surprised you didn’t burn two holes into my face..” her voice was lower then usual, rougher from sleep, and helena would be lying if she said she didn’t like it “it’s fine; I’d only be worried if this wasn’t coming from a person with social skills of zero..” 

“funny.” helena deadpans “any other cutting insults?” 

“nice bed head.” 

helena’s eyes widened, hand whipping up to the mess of thick black waves that were in fact everywhere. dinah started giggling. no matter how much helena liked the sound, she opened her mouth to give a verbal shot back, only to be cut off when dinah closes the five inches between, hand slipping over helena’s cheek and kissed her. 

hard to  rebuttal that.

helena laid down her metaphorical guns then, happily kissing back. they kissed lazily for a while, content in the cocoon of helena’s room and bedsheets without having to worry about other responsibilities for a while. dinah slowly stared sliding up, onto the top half over her girlfriend and legs dangling to the side; helena couldn’t help it, sighing contently at the feeling of dinah’s warm bare skin over hers, breasts pressed against her own. eventually dinah pulled away, lips quietly _smacking_ as she did. 

“..how do you feel h?” dinah grinned down.

“amazing.” helena blurted out, blushing the second after she realized how fast that was “I-I mean, it, I’m, it’s good..I’m good. are you good?..” 

dinah chuckled. honestly it was a bit of a blessing for helena that dinah found her social flounderings endearing rather then as awkward as they probably were. she leaned back down, lightly nipping kisses along the taller’s jaw. 

“..yeah.” she mumbled, helena feeling the smile pressed against her “I feel pretty damn good – for someone with zero experience, you sure caught on fast..” 

helena couldn’t help the smile, biting into her bottom lip. it was one thing to be worried about receiving, and then a whole other to worry about  _ giving. _ that seemed to have more high-stakes for her to mess up and she was certain she would, but dinah was encouraging. she ran her fingers through the dark hair as helena kissed down her body and tried not to outright drool because  _ god  _ she was a fucking goddess, and then suddenly dinah was taking her hand and slowly guiding it between her own legs and, well, helena kind of blacked out at that point. but she does remember  how much  _ wet _ was over her fingers and that she wanted to hear dinah make those gorgeous sounds for the rest of her goddamn life. 

helena slid a hand over her cheek, forcing dinah to pull back, eyes meeting. her fingers sunk into the gold beaded braids, carefully tucking them behind her ear, all but admiring. 

“I’m a fast learner..” 

dinah scoffed. she didn’t say anything more, instead tilting her head down at the assassin. helena watched her brow bunch. 

“..why do you do that?” 

“what?” 

“look at me like that. like I just, I dunno, stepped off a cloud of angels or some shit..” 

now helena scoffed. she laid there, searching for the right answer. there was no way to really veralize it right; how much of the world dinah meant to her, how much of helena’s heart she took up. in the end, she had to go with, 

“I’m in awe of you..” 

dinah scoffed again, but helena saw the way her grin softened. god, that night up on the roof where helena held dinah through her past haunts, felt like forever ago.

“ after three months, by now,”  dinah mumbled through her smile  “I would think that would’ve worn off..” 

helena knows that’ll never happen. if already going past the second year marker since birds of prey got together and she’d met dinah hadn’t made it fade, then there’s no hope. in fact, helena’s sure it’s getting stronger; every day, becoming closer and closer, her amazement for her girlfriend only becomes more prominent.

“I mean, no matter how long it’s been,” she slid her hands further along dinah’s waist, trailing over her back “there’s always going..to be some surprise that it was  _ me _ you picked..” 

“oh yeah. hot tall chick who can take down a dude twice her size and built like a fucking mma fighter – it must be hard with all the girls who wanna jump into your arms..” 

“ _ you know,  _ I..” helena glared, red over her cheeks as dinah laughed, because there was still nothing she loved more apparently, then ruffling helena’s feathers. 

“I told you..”  dinah leaned in, kissing her jaw  “ I’d liked you for a long time..”

“ let me guess – right after I let you ride on my bike with me?..” helena teasingly lifted a brow in inquiry. dinah let out a laugh, eyes lighting up. 

“oh, you  make jokes now?” she grinned  and pinched the assassin in the arm as she smiled back  _ “actually,  _ to your shock, it wasn’t after that..”

“ then?..” 

dinah paused. she leaned to sit up and helena followed, shuffling upwards a bit, top half of her proped up by the pillows as dinah sat up in her lap. she didn’t look helena in the eye, seemingly in thought until she said quietly,

“ it was..a little after that moment...when you caught me on the rooftop..”

she looked almost nervous, which was a very un-dinah emotion to see on her. it tended to clash with the cool confidence. she  stared down at the lightblue sheets, hands running up and down her arms. helena gently slid her hands from where they gripped her waist, running them up and down, hoping that was encouraging. 

“ we had stopped by the  grocers – near alma, remember? – ‘cause harley was dropping cass off and the kid goes through snacks like she’s not going to see her next meal for three weeks..” 

helena chuckles, remembering how cass asked  _ what’s next?  _ after munching through all the chips and the single slice pizza and dinah had yelled back  _ the hell you mean ‘what’s next?!’” _

“so we stood in line with all our  stuff – we’d bought the whole damn store, with frozen pizza and mac and cheese and  every  single snack food –  and there was this..mom, and her son, ahead of us. they were clearly..down on their luck, by the state of things – and I only  _ knew  _ that because I wore the same dirty sweater days in a row like that kid clearly was because my mom couldn’t afford new clothes..” dinah bit down on her lip, sighing “ and when the guy pulled up their total, the mom didn’t have enough cash, and..I mean, it’s shit for anybody, but I could tell how upset she was, struggling and not getting to provide for her kid like she should  get to. before I could even step in to offer to pay, she took some of the food and they went to put it back..” 

dinah stopped moving her hands. her eyes still didn’t move back to helena’s, but a wide  smile, slowly, grew over her lips. different then ones earlier.  fonder .

“ and then, before I could try  _ again  _ to slip the cashier the twenty, you – without saying a damn thing – grabbed the basket from my hands, put it and yours up on the counter, shoved your credit card at the guy behind the counter and said this was for them so he’d better put it through fast before they came back. you even swiped a whole row of candy bars because you, we, heard the kid ask his mom if he could have one this time..”

“thankfully they didn’t see us and we  left after paying, and after you said..maybe you should’ve said something to me before handing over all the food and now we have nothing to feed cass. it...it was almost like you were  _ embarrassed,  _ at  jumping the gun to do good. and we ended up giving cass pizza and a slushie from the gas station for dinner..” 

now, dinah’s eyes flick to helena’s, the gentle and fierce brown and smile still beaming. helena swallowed, always uneasy with a spotlight. she swore dinah could look right through her if she wanted to. a somewhat heavy but not  necessarily unwanted silence passed over, dinah watching her like  _ she  _ was the one in awe now. 

“..that’s when I knew. how I felt about you..”

helena hadn’t thought about that moment since it’d happened; there wasn’t much to think about. but now that it was being brought up, details start to fade back in. how after helena stumbled through her apology because it _was_ rather rash to just do that, dinah hadn’t even said anything. how she’d simply stared up at her, curious eyes and a smile helena couldn’t totally place. after saying softly _‘no, no, shit I-I’m not mad or anything h, you don’t have to be sorry for that..”_ at the time helena thought dinah was maybe just trying to assure her worry, but now it was starting to make sense.

“I dunno..” helena stumbled out “I mean, what the hell am I  suppose to do with that  inheritance? I don’t need all that money. and no kid should have to go hungry..” 

“...you know, you say that, and it’s so weird..”  dinah chuckled to herself  “because it was right after that night you said you  _ didn’t  _ know,  how to do that. how to be kind, how to show your soft side..” 

helena paused, fighting the bashful smile down. she drew her hands back, thinking, then reached up to dinah again, fingers brushing through her hair and grazing over her cheek.

“you bring it out..” 

helena watched  the dimple dent dinah’s cheek in that damning adorable way, lips tilting. she shuffled forward  in her lap  so that helena was pushed down, back into the pillows with dinah on top of her. she hovered right over her with nearly no inches between their faces and grinned. 

“or,  you’re softer then you know..” she said, eyes sliding down with fingers trailing over helena’s bicep “and you know...there’s a bit of eye candy too...” 

helena chuckled, it’s easiness only shown around the songstress. they were so close they were nose-to-nose, and suddenly helena was reminded of the drunken revelry of her birthday. of her and dinah, literally and not, dancing around eachother in a mock-fight until dinah had pinned her, so close helena could give in ande graze her lips against dinah’s and after pass it off as an accident. of how much she wanted to but knew with a heavy heart that she couldn’t. 

except now she could.

so she did. 

she closed the almost no-inch gap and kissed dinah with everything she had, to make up for lost time and that version of her that thought she’d never have this. dinah groaned lightly, kissing back  as heavily and with her tongue already in helena’s mouth. that continued for a while, dinah grinding her hips down into her lap and helena’s nails biting into her thighs in response, feeling her skin pressing tight against her own and yet wanting dinah to be even closer to her and – fuck it. 

helena pulled out of the kiss with a heavy  _ pop,  _ gasping breaths following. she stared right into dinah’s eyes with a  certain firmness she hadn’t shown before.

“I  need something..” 

dinah’s brow bunched “now? you really know how to pick your timing h..” 

“well I needed to tell you..” she took in a breath, not breaking her eyes away “that all I want is to run my tongue between your  folds and taste you,  _ but _ ...I’ve kind of been struggling with a poetic way to ask..” 

and that was the only moment helena really ever saw dinah’s cool and collect wall drop, expression going blank. it took a couple seconds to realize that her girlfriend, who once smacked her head on a n open cupboard door after dinah casually cupped her  ass when walking by, said those words and she replied in one breath, 

“Ithinkthat’lldo..” 

helena smirked. she grabbed dinah’s thighs again and slid down to be under her, dinah lifting herself up slightly to give her the room. not a second after she felt strong arms carefully pull her back down and – 

“ _oh...”_ dinah gasped, fingers immediately slipping down and into the wavy dark hair between her legs, gripping slight “fuck..how the hell are you already so good at –”

there was a loud banging at the door. 

“are you guys done banging in there?! I don’t got all the time in the world ya know!” 

there was only one person they knew who’d have the balls to do that. both woman groaned, this time in  aggravation, eyes squeezing shut. 

“ignore her.” dinah hissed “she’s easily distracted, if we just be –”

“I can hear you! it’s  eleven already and you guys  _ promised,  _ so if the little birdie stops riding her girlfriend’s tongue like she’s at an amusement park –”

harley was cut off by an annoyed montoya yelling  _ ‘jesus christ quinn, there’s a kid in here!’  _ and cass following it up with  _ ‘ are they coming out or not because if they’re doing that then they can stay!’  _ dinah’s head fell back and helena sighed in defeat, shuffling up from under her girlfriend, panting with cheeks red and wet. 

“how the fuck did she know that?!” dinah demanded, growling under her breath “I’m going to fucking kill that  janky-ass clown..” 

despite how  _ very  _ attractive dinah’s anger was, helena found herself scoffing with amusement. she sat back up,  fully this time with one arm around dinah’s waist to steady her, chest to chest and face to face. 

“well we  _ did  _ promise to take cass down to the skatepark and everything today so harley could spend some time with ivy..” 

“she’s almost a fucking teenager, she can’t do it herself?!” dinah sighed when helena chuckled, now shuffling closer so their hips pressed together, a hand pressed to her washboard stomach that she slid down oh-so-slow, whispering “c’mon baby, they won’t miss another minute or two passing..” 

helena smiled, giving her a quick kiss “we both know the skatepark’s in the  bad part of town, and we also know you love the kid as much as I do. so sadly, I think we gotta take a raincheck..” 

dinah sighed again, mumbling a ‘killjoy..’ but rolled off anyway, freeing the assassin. they got  out of bed and fumbled for the clothes they threw off last night, before they can get proper outfits. helena was still sitting on the bed, tugging on a black tee when she felt fingers playing with her hair, glancing up to see dinah had thrown her own flannel over her sports bra. 

“..that looks good on you.” she commented, eyeing the songstress up and down. 

“thanks – and, if you’re lucky, later, you’ll get to see me out of it too..” 

helena snorted at such a cheesy line, dinah grinning back. she sat, watching her tough and cool and compassionate and occasionally  dorky love, that particular lightness lifting her  usually heavy heart like it’d been ever since dinah stepped into her life. 

“I love you..” 

“yeah.” dinah smiled, hand reaching down to helena “I know..” 

helena beamed, not needing to hear the  _ I love you  _ back to hear it in the tease. without hesitation, she slipped her hand over dinah’s – rough palm sliding over soft and fingers intertwining, letting her lead them out to their awaiting family. 

held together.

**Author's Note:**

> You made it to the end, congrats! If you liked this at all whatsoever, kudos/comments are all us writers live on. I don't have anything major planned right now for BOP, but I don't see this as the end either; they're still ideas brewing :) See y'all!


End file.
